Backpacking through Europe was #1 on my bucket list for as long as I can remember. Before I got pregnant with our son, I had somehow made up in my mind that this was the “ultimate pre-kids trip,” & we couldn’t get pregnant until we made that trip a reality. During my Endometriosis healing journey, God intervened & opened up our hearts to His plan for us to start our family. I remember being ALL-in, except for maybe that 1% of me that thought “but wait… what about Europe” lol.

Fast-forward June 9th, 2018, when our lives forever changed for the better. That was the day that we became parents to Koa Axel Meloy. Contrary to the type of parent that I previously thought I would be, my instincts kicked in and completely overpowered my preformed beliefs about raising a child. I dove head first into what could be described as an attachment/positive/intuitive/respectful parenting hybrid (if you want to put a label on it). Breastfeeding on demand, baby-wearing, & family beds became a way of life for us. That being said, traveling without our child (especially while nursing) was out of the question, so we thought Europe was going to be this far away concept that we came back to in maybe 10 years. Then one day it dawned on me… why wait? Why not just go and take Koa with us? Why would we not take him on a crazy adventure like this?

I mention all of this because I don’t think this trip is for everyone. If our son was older, we would have had to pay for an extra ticket for each mode of transportation. If he had been walking, he would have had a hard time sitting in a carrier all day. If our son had been sleeping in his own bed/crib, our hotel/airbnb prices would have made the trip a lot less affordable. If our son was on formula instead of breastmilk, that’s a lot more gear to carry around (formula, bottles, the right water, etc). If he didn’t love sleeping on us, we would have had to go back to our room for every single nap. Koa, our little “starfish baby,” who wanted nothing but to be in our arms 24/7 for his whole first year of life, was actually the perfect child to take on a backpacking trip.

So how did we travel through Europe with just two small backpacks + a baby?

PACKING

First, let’s get the boring part out of the way. Practically speaking, how in the world did we fit everything for two adults & a baby into two small backpacks? First, obviously we did not bring any kind of carseat, stroller, or portable crib. Second, keep in mind that we only went out to eat a few times and mostly cooked our own meals & grazed the local markets. Had this been a trip where we were going out every single night with other couples, maybe we would have wanted more clothes! This is what we packed:

1-2 pairs of pants, 2-3 shirts, 2 dresses for me, and 1 jacket per person
2 pairs of shoes for me (regretted bringing the second), 1 pair for my husband, & 1 pair of socks for our son
1 blanket, 1 package of wipes (lasted us a whole month), & a few diapers (we bought more as we needed them)
Toiletries: moisturizer, toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, and some travel size shampoo/conditioner (no makeup, no hair brush or tools, etc)
My camera
1 reusable water bottle
Our Ergobaby (literally would not have survived without it)

EXPECTATIONS

Traveling with a child is not a vacation. Let me repeat that: IT IS NOT A VACATION. Traveling with your child requires more work & fewer breaks, but I truly cannot imagine it any other way! Waking up in the morning with no real plans or expectations was truly the key to enjoying our trip. Koa cut his first three teeth over the span of the 3 nights we spent in Florence. Those nights, he woke up every couple of minutes from 9pm-8am in a panic, because he couldn’t breathe from all the drool. Our lack of plans allowed us to hang out for the first couples of hours in the Airbnb each morning & recover from the night before.

If there was a day that Koa was having a hard time sleeping in the carrier for his naps, we had the freedom to drop everything & sit down while he nursed to sleep in my arms. One of those times was in the middle of touring the Colosseum, so we literally just sat down with a view of the arena & discussed Rome, the pope, paganism, & of course Gladiator for a solid two hours.

DO LESS, ENJOY MORE

Our Europe trip was hands-down our biggest wakeup call to appreciate the simple pleasures in life. Having our baby with us completely enriched our Europe experience. There is nothing more approachable than a blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby in Italy. He broke down all barriers & gave us the opportunity to immerse ourselves in local culture. Every single place we visited, we met people to our left + right. Local farmer’s showed us pictures of their grandchildren, restaurant owners brought him special books & toys, and homeless men & women tried to make him laugh. Had we rushed from sight to sight without stopping and enjoying every moment in between, we would not have truly experienced the local culture. DO in the interest of the adult, but MOVE at the pace of the child. Each day, we picked one big thing to go see. Sometimes we could do it within the first couple hours of waking up, and sometimes it would take 8 hours. If I’m being honest, the latter was always the most enjoyable.

Let’s use Rome again as an example. We chose to spend 5 days here & experience it as slowly as possible. With only one “big activity” per day, you have time to wander around the stunning streets & neighborhoods. By the end of the 5 days, we knew our favorite coffee shop owners by name, we knew where the prettiest doors were located, & we knew where to find the best pizza. Those were the experiences & memories that I will cherish the most.

BUT, I know you guys want some real transparency here, so here it is:

THE Lows

There were no romantic late nights in Italy, sipping wine in a candle-lit restaurant.

We were chronically sleep-deprived on a level that I can’t even explain

There were moments that I was pouring sweat while trying to rock/bounce/nurse Koa to sleep in a tiny train bathroom for 45 minutes, because he was crying too loud in the coach

Feeling like your spine/feet/hips are going to explode after carrying a nearly 30lb infant 10+ miles every day

If we ever ate out, we ate alone while the other person carried a fussy baby around the restaurant

In the hard moments, we asked ourselves probably 200 times who in their right mind would choose to do this trip

THE Highs

Some of the most incredible memories of my entire life

Experiencing Europe in a deeper and more meaningful way

Saving so much more money by going at that age & season of life

Meeting people that we otherwise never would have met

People were automatically so much nicer & willing to help us if we needed directions or recommendations on where to stay

Probably my favorite (but no doubt the hardest) adventure of my lifetime

Infant & toddler travel tips

When traveling overseas, fly overnight. Someone will probably have to stay up and hold your child while they sleep, but that means you get to watch unlimited, uninterrupted movies for once in your life as a parent… WORTH IT
Breastfeeding is your best friend for traveling. Period.
Acknowledge & respect what they’re feeling and trying to communicate to you. It can be an easy impulse to try to quiet your child if they are making “too much noise” in a quiet area like an airplane, but my rule is connection before correction ALWAYS.
Don’t ask too much of your child. I know I mentioned this already, but move at their pace. Try to see life through their lenses, as they can easily get overstimulated. To expect them to move at the pace of an adult is a recipe for frustration, resentment, & disconnection.
Snacks, snacks, and more snacks:)

Follow-up post coming soon on our Europe backpacking trip route, highlights, & recommendations!!

Until then, happy travels!

-Kori

How We Backpacked through Europe With A Baby