If you’ve been around for a little while, you probably already know my son Koa’s birth story. If you don’t, you can find his story here. To summarize, I had an unmedicated water birth planned at a birth center until he went transverse at 37 weeks. After a week of trying all the things, my water broke at 38 weeks, while he was still stuck. It was a very strange experience to prepare in every way possible for a birth with no interventions, then still end up in a hospital with a c-section, completely out of my control. It taught me just how unpredictable birth is, and regardless of the amount of hours that I spent crying on my knees and begging for God to allow me to give birth to my child and give him the best chance for a healthy start to his life, the answer is sometimes “no,” and that’s okay.

Now that I have experienced a c-section, there is nothing more empowering for me than to listen to VBAC stories. An unmedicated birth is much more mental than it is physical. That’s not to say that it’s not physical, but everything about the physical aspect of birth is influenced somehow by your mental state. For example, I learned in my birthing classes that even the dilation of your cervix can be influenced by the kind of people that are in the room. She has personally witnessed dilation decreasing when an unwanted or unhelpful person is in the room during labor, which is why it’s so important to choose your birth team wisely. Another example is that your ability to stay calm and breathe in a certain pattern can determine if you will tear or not.

Your confidence in yourself and trust in your body are everything, and there is something incredibly powerful for the mind to be able to read or watch other women’s birth stories. So that is exactly what I’m going to share with you guys today! In May of 2019, my sister-in-law had an unmedicated VBAC. Knowing how much it would mean to me, she invited me to be a part of her birth as her “honorary doula” lol. While my husband had to be home in Florida to work, I came to Texas with my baby boy for 2-3 weeks while we excitedly awaited the birth of my second nephew. We went on walks, did birth stretches, ate spicy food, and one morning we finally got the call that she was in labor. While I didn’t see her baby actually come out, watching my sister-in-law go through an unmedicated labor without taking a single birthing class was the highlight of my year (to say the least). Around 1 or 2am, while I was hiding out and nursing my son in an electrical room down the hall from their room, I heard the last few screams mixed with “I can’t I can’t I can’t,” then a burst of cheering and clapping. I was doing my own little happy dance with a sleeping baby on me.

I hope you guys are just as inspired, empowered, and motivated by her birth story as I am. Before getting to the story, I’m going to share a little Q&A. I asked my Instagram followers if they had any questions for my sister-in-law, and boy did y’all ask some great questions! I sent her the most frequently asked ones, and she has graciously answered them with so much wisdom and attention to detail. Enjoy!!

Why did you want to have an unmedicated VBAC and how far apart were your pregnancies?

To fully understand my heart behind wanting an unmedicated VBAC, I must first briefly explain what happened during my first pregnancy and delivery. Let’s just say, I thought I had it ALL planned out. I wrote my birth plan, watched “The Business of Being Born” documentary (accidentally asked my husband to join me in the viewing…needless to say, he was scarred for life, ha!) and discussed my wishes with my doctor. I was all set, but my pregnancy was filled with anxiety which ultimately led to the perfect concoction for a traumatic birth. Test after test, ultrasound after ultrasound, fear grew inside my heart like a bacteria.

In short, here’s what went down:

16 weeks – “Your baby might have Down Syndrome” (due to a few different valid indicators)
25 weeks – “He doesn’t have Down Syndrome, but you failed your first glucose test. You might have gestational diabetes.”
36 weeks – “You passed your second glucose test, but your baby is breach. Time for a C-section.”
38 weeks – “He flipped, but he’s measuring HUGE. He will probably be diagnosed with fetal macrosomia when he’s born.” (aka just a fancy scientific term for a big baby)
39 weeks – “We need to schedule an induction before he gets too big for your birth canal.”
40 weeks – After fervently believing and praying that I would go into labor on my own, I finally gave into the pressure from my doctor and checked into the hospital… at 0cm dilated, being a first time mother, with no contractions, and having a big baby who wasn’t ready to come out.

All of those factors combined, I was destined for a C-section and had no idea at the time. I received Cervidil overnight (which softened my cervix to a measly 1cm by the morning), my doctor broke my water (unnecessarily the most painful part of the entire process), I got an epidural (I’m TERRIFIED of needles, by the way), and my birth plan was thrown out the window. I should pause and say that my nurses were AMAZING and some of the kindest, most encouraging women I’ve ever met. They walked me through one of the hardest days of my life with such beauty and grace and I will speak their praises forever. At the end of the day, I stalled at 8cm, begged my doctor not to rush me, and WEPT when she told me that I had already been on the highest levels of Pitocin for too long and I was at risk for hemorrhaging. After 14 hours of labor, my beautiful “strong-willed blessing,” Ellis Strong Frank, entered the world via C-section.

Every expert that I interviewed encouraged me to wait until I was at least 12 months postpartum to get pregnant again so that my body could fully heal and have the most optimal chance at a successful VBAC (this is Kori inserting herself- my midwives recommended a minimum of 18 months. For me personally, for multiple reasons, I know that my body will thrive with a much larger gap (2-3+ years) between pregnancies. Apparently my body knows that too, since my fertility has yet to return while nursing at 23 months. So while there are “guidelines” and “recommendations,” this is a very individual decision. Courtney’s body healed really well from her c-section, but I’m still having physical issues from mine, so there are multiple factors that play into that decision). In fact, most doctors and birthing centers will not allow their patients to try for a vaginal birth if they are under a year out from a cesarean. In God’s perfect timing, I got pregnant with Valor when Ellis turned 1 year old, almost to the day. This was not planned as I was still partially nursing Ellis and hadn’t had a period at all during breastfeeding. It was divine intervention that I even took a pregnancy test!

We immediately started praying that the Lord would allow us to have a VBAC. Recovering mentally and physically from Ellis’ birth and getting pregnant quickly thereafter intimidated me to my core. I did not want to recover from a major abdominal surgery (again) with a 21 month old toddler, but more than that, I deeply wanted to experience God’s genius design for labor and delivery. I knew that if I had to have another C-section, then I would never get that opportunity for future children (although many women have successful double VBAC’s, most Houston doctors will not allow it). The Lord purposefully crafted our bodies to do AMAZING and HARD things, and I petitioned Him almost every single day of my pregnancy to let me experience that through childbirth.

PS I joked with everyone about how I wanted to have an unmedicated birth 10% because I yearned to experience the fullness of God’s design for birth, but 90% because I was still terrified of needles and epidurals lol.

What did you do differently with the second pregnancy to prepare for a VBAC?

CHANGED TO A VBAC SUPPORTIVE DOCTOR – This will make or break your birth experience!! I cannot stress this enough. What is SO important to realize is the difference between a VBAC “friendly” doctor and a VBAC “supportive” doctor. My first doctor claimed to be VBAC friendly, but she took maybe two minutes to read my birth plan, gave me her critiques, and handed it back to me. At 6 weeks postpartum, I asked her if I could have a VBAC in the future and she said “you can try,” which translated, “Let’s schedule another C-section.” At 8 months postpartum, I was praying for my family and I clearly heard the Lord say “prepare for the next baby.” I took that as a nudge to start doing my research and find a new doctor so that I wouldn’t be scrambling if I found out I was pregnant soon. We interviewed a couple of doctors, toured a local birthing center, and prayed. We landed on my current doctor through a serious of divine events and were confident that he was going to be my biggest advocate. He thoroughly went through each and every line of my birth plan, asked questions, saved it to my file (so that he could see it every time I came in), and met my doula in person to talk through accessible hospital equipment, different labor and delivery techniques and my medical history. He helped me weigh the risks/rewards and walked me through helpful information coupled with his own VBAC experiences in his practice. I will never forget him saying, “I’m on YOUR team. And I will do everything in my power to help you have the birth experience you want with the end goal of a healthy baby. But you have to know that I cannot live with myself if something happens to your baby. So the only way I would surpass your wishes is if I believed your baby was in danger.” We were sold.
HIRED A DOULA – This made ALL of the difference for me. I use to believe that doulas were just a replacement for the husband’s role during labor, but my doula actually taught Mitchell how to help me with pain management every step of the way and empowered him to be my comforter (which made it such a beautiful experience for our marriage). She advocated my birth plan to the nurses and doctor, prayed through each decision with me, and held my hand through the postpartum procedure so that Mitchell could hold Valor skin-to-skin (more on that later). She was such a gift and I highly recommend a doula if you are wanting a natural birth!
REGULARLY SAW A PRENATAL CHIROPRACTOR – For my first pregnancy, I went to my normal chiropractor, but at 36 weeks pregnant, I found out that Ellis was breach and he referred me to a chiropractor specializing in prenatal/postnatal care. He explained that they are certified to perform the Webster Technique, which is a sacral adjustment to help facilitate the mother's pelvic alignment and nerve system function. In layman’s terms, they basically use light pressure points to loosen and adjust pelvic muscles and ligaments to prepare your body for labor. I should also note that my first doctor gave me absolutely no hope for Ellis flipping. She read my charts, looked at my ultrasound, and quickly said, “alright, let’s look at dates to schedule a C-section.” My heart fell out of my body. I quickly and defensively responded, “wait what? There’s still time for him to flip though? Is there anything that I can be doing to help him flip?” She said that there was nothing I could do because he was already so big and, when I suggested going to a prenatal chiropractor, she responded, “if you believe in that kind of stuff.” After two Webster Technique adjustments and a lot of at home exercises, he flipped! So going into my second pregnancy, I went to my new chiropractor monthly until 28 weeks, bimonthly until 36 weeks, and weekly until I went into labor. I have a very long torso, tight round ligaments (which is why Ellis was breach), terrible restless leg syndrome and sciatica during pregnancy, so going to my prenatal adjustments was my favorite day of the week! She gave me at home exercises/stretches to do at various stages of my pregnancy to support a strong and healthy pelvic floor (VERY important for delivery and recovery as well). She also had a prenatal massage therapist on staff (with the BEST pregnancy pillow I had ever laid my big stomach on). At 37 weeks, she started implementing labor inducing massages and acupuncture. She also encouraged me to start drinking red raspberry leaf tea, eating dates (promotes uterine health) and having more “intimate time” with my husband (TMI but semen acts as a natural cervix softener…go figure?). I still get monthly massages, adjustments and home exercises from her during postpartum recovery, which has literally put my body back together!
SPOKE TRUTH AND CONFIDENCE OVER MYSELF – There is so much power in the words we speak over ourselves and our babies. The mind-body connection is a very real thing! Throughout my second pregnancy, I intentionally filtered what people said or how I was feeling with the Word of God. Practically, when fear would start to creep in about all of the unknowns, I would do two things:

I would read or watch a successful VBAC story. You can find plenty of horror stories all over the internet. I was not ignorant of the risks, I simply left it to my doctor, whom I trusted, to lay those out for me and assess my pregnancy and medical history. To stay positive and encouraged, I would literally just YouTube search “successful VBAC stories.” I found some of the most beautiful tear-jerkers that got me STOKED to give birth. Kori and I actually watched one together in my kitchen the week before I went into labor and we cried tears of joy and hope.
I would read one (or all) of my “VBAC fighting scriptures” (as I would call them) that I had taped to my bathroom mirror. I would speak these OUT LOUD over my day:

“If you ABIDE in Me and My words ABIDE in you, you will ask what you desire and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.” John 15:1-8

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:16-21

What were your thoughts & feelings going into your VBAC? Did you have any fears?

There is so much fear that naturally comes along with having a VBAC because all that we hear is “your uterus could rupture.” OKAY??? That’s encouraging. My biggest fear was having another big baby. Every time I went into my first doctor’s office, I felt like having a big baby was a disease. I was intimidated and scared that he “wouldn’t fit” because of how my doctor and her staff reacted to his stats. Even when he was born via c-section, I remember overhearing the staff saying, “Wow! This boy is ready for college!” as he was coming out and then my doctor saying, “do you see that imprint around his head? He couldn’t have fit through a 10cm opening anyway, he needed at least 13cm!” She was joking…but also not. Well guess what? I had an even bigger baby round two. Ellis was born 9lbs. 3oz. via C-section…Valor was born 9lbs. 10oz. via vaginal birth…with an even bigger head. So explain to me how this is possible unless God beautifully wired our bodies that way? He designed the female body to do things you would never imagine possible. And when you step back and look at valid studies, your chances for uterine rupture are actually very low for a healthy pregnancy. To add to my point above about speaking truth into existence, if someone made a comment about Valor measuring big, I immediately responded with encouragement over him (and me). “I’m so thankful to have a big healthy boy!” or “I know…these Frank boys only come in one size…hefty and hearty! What a blessing.” It may sound strange, but by me speaking that into life, it actually changed how I began to view my son.

Did you give birth at home or in a hospital and why?

Contrary to what you probably think after reading my first birth, I appreciate hospitals SO much, ESPECIALLY after my second birth. I was PUMPED after touring our local birthing center and meeting the midwives (literally left with the biggest grin on my face), but my husband did not feel peace about it. He is a wise, cautious, thoughtful and thorough engineer and his job is to weigh risks every day. Meaning he literally thinks, “how can I prepare for the worst case scenario right now?” Let’s just say…it is a blessing to my passionate personality and extravagant ideas. Personally, it was comforting to labor in a facility that had all of the people and equipment necessary to save my baby’s (or my) life in the case of an emergency. The fact that I could have a cordless internal fetal monitor on me while I labored gave me reassurance and confidence that my baby was thriving throughout the day. If my uterus were to begin rupturing, there would be immediate signals to the hospital staff (i.e. the baby’s heartrate would start dropping, etc.). Looking back, I am so glad I had the medical supplies and skill of my doctor because I ended up with a third (almost fourth) degree tear and multiple internal lacerations from that big ole boy. I lost an abnormal amount of blood and my doctor spent over an hour making sure that my stitches were perfect. After a brutal recovery with about epsom salt sitz baths, I was fully healed in five weeks.

I am not “anti-medicine” or “anti-intervention” where it is necessary; I simply believe in listening to your body and tuning into your God-given instincts. And I truly believe that hospitals are not the enemy when it comes to wanting a natural birth. Are there some challenges? Yes. Do some people think you’re a wild animal while giving birth because they rarely encounter an unmedicated birth? Absolutely. But I am so incredibly thankful to have had my VBAC in a hospital. C-sections have been deemed an unnecessary and overused procedure in our culture by the holistic community and, while that is true in majority of cases…they. save. lives. If you read about Kori’s birth, she most likely would’ve been one of those women who died in childbirth (due to Koa being transverse right before delivery) before we were able to perform c-sections. Her story brings me to my knees in gratitude for medicine, doctors/nurses, and surgeries that God has allowed to save the life of a mother and/or her baby.

How did you prepare for the pain of an unmedicated birth?

This is where my doula had the most impact! To be completely transparent, I never took a birthing class. I looked into a few different ones, but I actually felt like the knowledge of what happens to the female body during each stage of labor would lead me to more fear or disappointment if it didn’t work out. So I chose to hone into my God-given instincts, listen to my body, and follow my doula’s suggestions on pain management. She was incredibly creative as she watched my labor progress. In the early stages of labor, I used the yoga ball frequently to bounce, do lunges, etc.

When my water still hadn’t broken but the contractions were picking up, I transitioned to the bathroom where I awkwardly labored on the toilet for a good portion of time (so cute, I know). I also had to pee every 20 minutes because my body was trying to “clear itself out” for the actual birth. The hospital room that I was in did not have a bathtub (which I think I would’ve liked), so I sat on the shower chair while my husband sprayed hot water on my back and I breathed through contractions. Right before transition hit, my upper body became very weak so I alternated laying on each side with a peanut ball in between my legs. I go into more detail in the full birth story below, but I also tried the “tug of war” push method with a twisted bedsheet during the first stages of pushing, which was helpful for a few contractions. I could give you so many more details about what felt “right” to manage the pain, but ultimately, I just listened to my body and my doula and tried different things until I could feel change happening. What I realized is that labor pain is not an “unnatural pain” (i.e. pain that’s not supposed to happen like breaking your arm) and, therefore, was easy for me to breathe into instead of resisting or tightening up.

Was your milk supply different after a VBAC? Did you ever struggle with a low supply?

Immediately after delivering Ellis, every healthcare professional (pediatrician/hospital nurses/professional lactation consultant/etc.) told me to nurse for 20 minutes on each side and, from that point on, the baby can’t get any more milk. They are just “soothing themselves.” So I listened...because they are the experts, right? I timed Ellis with a nursing app during feeds, fed him every 2-3 hours on schedule, and was hopelessly confused as to why he was not satisfied and always crying. The normal baby loses about 10% of their body weight when they leave the hospital and Ellis lost ~12% (I just attributed it to him being a bigger baby and never thought that it might be a milk issue). In the first 10 days, I was frustrated when he wouldn’t sleep anywhere but on my chest...what’s wrong with this kid?? Why won’t he sleep in a crib? Why does he cry all the time?? Duh Courtney...he was hungry! After his crazy birth, tons of antibiotics and medications that attributed to low milk supply, and flooding during Hurricane Harvey, I finally caved and gave him his first bottle of formula and I WEPT...literally sobbed as I fed it to him and kept saying over and over “I’m so sorry buddy, I’m so sorry I couldn’t give you what you needed.” I actually had to leave the room and give Mitchell the bottle because I couldn’t bear to watch my newborn be satisfied by something other than me. I know that, for most people, this is not even remotely a struggle, but FOR ME it was. Because I bought into the lies from Satan that 1. You had a C-section, aka you can’t do the one thing God created women to do and 2. You can’t fully nurse your baby, aka you can’t do the other coolest thing God created women to do. LIE LIE LIE. Fast forward to Valor…After reading my heart behind wanting an unmedicated VBAC, you know that this time around I wanted to hone into the power of prayer and listening to my body to guide my labor and delivery. I truly believe that listening to my natural instincts during labor and delivery set the tone for breastfeeding. I didn’t time him during feedings. I didn’t watch the clock. I didn’t care if he slept on me all day (Thank goodness for Solly Baby wraps because it was a game changer with a toddler). I let him nurse as often and as long as he wanted to (despite the many Ellis interruptions). I have been able to fully nurse him for 11.5 months! There is so much science behind this, especially for women like me who do not produce a lot in the beginning or a lot per feeding. I actually have micromastia (low breast tissue), but I didn’t read up on any of it until after Valor was a few weeks old (The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding was my life saver). I simply listened to his cues and tried my best to respond. And I never thought that my body would be capable of providing for an almost 10 pound newborn, but he has consistently gained about 50% MORE WEIGHT than the average baby (and came home from the hospital only losing 6% of his birth weight).

In short, these tips were FOUNDATIONAL for establishing a healthy milk supply the second time around:

I ate a minimum of about 2200 calories a day (usually closer to 2,800) coming from whole food sources.
I kept Valor on my chest in a wrap throughout most of the day and co-slept with him at night until about 4 months old (it felt way more natural than it sounds, ha!). The hormone released at night while nursing and skin to skin is the absolute strongest for upping milk supply.
I let Valor nurse on demand and did not time him. Some babies need to “cluster feed,” aka nonstop nursing for a few hours at a time to build supply.
I have always felt more natural and comfortable nursing my babies to sleep (that’s one thing I actually did do with Ellis). I didn’t use pacifiers and only gave him a bottle a few times during his newborn stage when it was an emergency. The suckling is not just them “soothing themselves,” it is actually a mechanism that tells your body to produce more milk!

So praise the Lord for the GRACE, gifts and guidance He offers us in the learning journey of motherhood. I should note that I still nursed Ellis with what I had for 14 months and I am confident that my bond with him is not lesser than my bond with Valor. I’m not a lactation expert, I have simply walked through this journey in two completely different ways and want to help other people in the same boat! If you want a great little highlight reel to empower you further, head over to Kori’s Instagram and listen to her “Breastfeeding” highlight!

What is your best piece of advice you would tell someone who is thinking about having a VBAC?

In addition to what I said above (reading Scripture out loud every day and watching/reading successful VBAC stories/statistics), I would summarize it with this: Release your “ideal birth experience” to God with open hands and an open heart. I could sit back and tell you, “If you follow XYZ plan, then you will have your XYZ ideal birth.” But that is simply not true. And the reality is, I know women who have “C-section happy” doctors, no doula, no birth plan, no prenatal chiropractor…but yet have the most astounding (and fast) natural births.

It was God who gave me a dream 5 years ago pointing me to the right doctor (a whole testimony in it of itself). It was Him who allowed Ellis to be breach so that I would find the right prenatal chiropractor. It was Him who connected me to my doula 14 YEARS AGO when I became a Christian (her husband is ironically the speaker who brought me to know the Lord in high school). And it was Him who answered my heart’s deepest desire to have a VBAC. He redeemed what I thought I had lost as a woman.

God desires for his children to seek Him daily with all of their heart, soul, and mind. And to remember that He loves giving His children good gifts (James 1:17). Ultimately, I made my requests known (daily lol), spoke against the fear, said YOUR WILL BE DONE, and watched Him work a miracle in my life.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:6-8

BIRTH STORY

On May 6, we had a little Frank family labor inducing party! Kori and Koa stayed in Houston to be my “honorary doula” and my brother in law, Forrest, happened to be passing through town. We went for a walk, played with Koa and Ellis, ate eggplant Parmesan (eggplant is supposed to be labor inducing), and Kori showed me a lunge stretch to do on my yoga ball that was supposed to prep my body to go into labor. When everyone left, I immediately started feeling different from the lunges. Deep down, I truly didn’t think I would go into labor anytime soon. The next morning, I woke up at 7am to stronger/different contractions than the Braxton Hicks that I had felt for weeks leading up. Ellis slept a little longer than normal that morning so I took advantage of the time to make a full breakfast for everyone and did more stretch lunges on the yoga ball. I started texting my sweet doula, Shelley, timing my contractions, and called the doctor’s office... They told me to come in and get checked! I will never forget the excitement in my parents’ voices when I called them and said “I THINK I’m in labor!” That’s the quickest they’ve ever answered the phone :) My dad came over to watch Ellis (the perfect job for him as he hated to see me in “pain”…aka breathing through a very light contraction). My contractions started picking up so I took a shower, packed the hospital bag and grabbed a snack for the road! On the car ride over to the doctor’s office, Mitchell’s grandmother called and said “I told the Lord that, if he wanted me to share this with you before you had the baby, then He would make the way.” To which we replied “Grandma, I’m actually in labor right now on our way to the doctor’s office!” We all laughed at the divine timing because she continued to share with us how she felt that the Lord would give our baby boy the character of Caleb in the Bible. We had been weighing a few options for his name, but she completely confirmed it (more on that later). She shared some scriptures and concluded our conversation by saying, “this is more just from Velma, but I also feel like he is going to be tall, handsome and naturally command respect!” I said, “Let it be, Lord!”

Before my doctor even checked me, he walked in the room and said “you should be in the hospital. I can tell you’re in labor.” I was 3cm and he told us to meet him at the hospital (I had been at 1cm for a couple of weeks so those words were music to my ears)! I screamed out of excitement and we raced out the door. I checked in to Labor and Delivery, met my nurses, and got hooked up to a cord-free IV and internal fetal monitor so that I could labor freely around the room (this was a game changer). I also continued to sneak water and snacks until they told me otherwise. I chatted with all of our visitors in between contractions in the early stage of labor (which may have slowed my progress a little). Mitchell and I played worship music the whole time and the song “Yes I Will” came on. I was flooded with thankfulness that the Lord had answered my prayer to even go into labor naturally. I was finally here and about to meet my boy. I wept on my yoga ball. The contractions were very manageable as I walked around, breathed through them and Mitchell held my hips and rocked them. I was joyful and comfortable in between contractions until the transition hit!

The doctor came in around 6pm and said that I was at 5cm, which was not very much progress for being in labor all day. He wanted to see more progress the next time he came back because he was worried that, if I was in labor for too long, it would put too much strain on my scar. He said that he would break my water the next time he came back and asked me how long I would like to wait. I quickly looked at Shelley and Mitchell and he immediately said, “don’t look at them, what do YOU want?” I answered “give me 2 hours before you break my water.” So I was mentally prepared for him to come back in at 8pm, but there was a huge storm in Houston that night and he did not return until 10pm. After about an hour of shower water therapy on my back and alternating laying on my sides with a peanut ball, I had the most painful contraction yet and my water broke on its own at 9pm! I was shocked and overwhelmed because, again, I didn’t think God would answer that prayer. That began my “transition” to the unbearable contractions when I began vomiting and shaking.

When my doctor came in, I was at 8cm and at a station two (station three or four is when you start feeling the urge to push). He encouraged me to get a uterine monitor but, after seeing how much pain I was in and that I could barely sit back and still for 10 seconds, he allowed me to continue my “no intervention” birth. The most comfortable way to labor at that point was to lean forward and hold Mitchell’s neck. I accidentally punched him in the face when a contraction came quickly and I needed his support! Shelley kept encouraging me to “picture your baby descending lower and lower and picture yourself holding him.” Then Shelley showed Mitchell how to do the “tug of war” pushing with a long bed sheet twisted into a tug of war rope. For every contraction, I started bearing down and pulling while Mitchell pulled the other side. That helped for a few contractions before I felt too weak to keep my upper body upright. Since I wasn’t allowed any food or water, I think it was my body’s way of conserving energy. The coolest part about how God designed pushing is that your body naturally does what it is supposed to if you listen to it. When I started feeling the urge to push, the nurses would say, “ok on the next contraction, practice holding your breath and pushing for 10 seconds.” When the next contraction came, I thought, “there’s NO way that I can hold this for 10 seconds, what are they talking about??” So I tried to tune out the advice and listen to my body. As each contraction progressed, I felt the urge to push longer and harder each time and I gradually got to the point where I NEEDED to push for 10 seconds or else it stung like nothing I’d ever felt before! I had trouble getting into a position that felt “right” to push so everyone pitched in different ideas and I ended up pushing with Mitchell and a nurse holding my legs in stirrups. They pulled in a mirror for me to see how close I was and it was honestly just terrifying and discouraging because it felt like labor would never end! And the unbearable “ring of fire” that they talk about....it’s a very real thing. A very real thing that lasted for over 30 minutes. I remember moments where I didn’t think I could go on so I just repeated over and over again, “Jesus, help me. Jesus, help me. I can’t do this on my own. I’m not strong enough.”

At 1:36am on the morning of May 8, 2019, I held Valor True Frank in my arms for the first time and I was overwhelmed with gratitude. All I could say was, “Hi Baby! Hi Baby! What do I do??” And the nurses laughed and said, “just snuggle him!” I had a small amount of PTSD from my c-section because my doctor had Mitchell hold Valor skin to skin while I was sewn up for over an hour because it was too painful to hold him! I was also shaking violently from all of the hormones so I could barely keep him steady in my arms. They weighed Valor in at a whopping 9lbs. 10oz 21” long and then Mitchell held him on his chest while Shelley held my hand through the rest of the pain. When it was all over, I held Valor skin-to-skin as he latched beautifully and it was the sweetest, most peaceful moment.

Mitchell got me some food and juice because I was starving and all of my “VBAC fan club ladies” (my mom, my sister, Grandma Frank, Mitchell’s mom and Kori) came in to meet him at 3am while he nursed and we all just looked at each other in awe saying “I can’t believe you did it. God is so good.”The next day, my doctor came in to check on me and said, “I’m going to write a book about you. I’ll call it, “She Did it Her Way.” You were a challenge, but you were fun! And you broke some rules so don’t get use to that.” Never have I ever tangibly felt the strength of the Lord like I did giving birth to Valor. And I know it was ALL supernatural power because I’m a self-diagnosed hypochondriac with a shockingly low pain tolerance. We also had to laugh at the other verse that Grandma Frank prayed over me right before I went into labor: “in quietness and confidence is your strength” (Isaiah 30:15) because I was everything BUT quiet and confident during labor and delivery!‬‬‬

VALOR TRUE FRANK

One of the great charges in the Bible is when Moses is handing off the people of Israel to Joshua and Caleb: “Be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go.” Joshua‬ 1:7‬ Valor comes from the first half meaning “heroic courage in the face of danger” and True comes from the second half meaning “without deviation from the course, loyal and faithful.” Caleb (also meaning “faithful”) was marked by fearless leadership, reverence, wisdom, obedience, longevity, and the list goes on...he was remembered as a conqueror who followed God fully and the promises given to him were fulfilled because of his great faith. God was true (pun intended) to His promises throughout our whole pregnancy and delivery and we are so humbled by the gift of Valor True.

Unmedicated VBAC: A Story of Redemption